Everything But Me

It’s been apparent to me for awhile, but lately it’s really starting to make me crazy.

I put everyone and everything that isn’t about me, first.

I do it all the time.

I know that when I get up in the morning the first things I should be doing are the ones that have to do with my development, my artistry, my self-growth.

But I rarely do. I get up and look at my various emails, respond to the people who have their own projects and careers rolling along, and then I get pissed at myself as the day progresses and I’ve yet to accomplish something of worth for myself. It’s so against my nature to put myself first that it feels incredibly awkward and painful. And when I do put myself first I feel guilty. Like someone (literally anyone) else is more deserving of my time.

They say that it takes a month of doing something day after day to really solidify a habit. The thought of that seems almost nuts to me. Sing everyday? Go over my monologues every day? Exercise everyday? Write? Develop my production company? But I know other people do this all the time. They are dedicated and driven and fearless and have their eyes on the ball. Singleminded in their endeavor.

Well, maybe I should take a lesson from baseball. I played for 10 years when I was a kid and you will absolutely not catch the ball if you don’t concentrate on it. You won’t hit it, you won’t field it. You have to be fast too. Reflexes quick. Ready for anything. And that comes from PRACTICE.

You also need a TEAM to play baseball. Surround yourself with other great players and you may just win the championship. See what I mean?

So, I’m going old school. I gotta get a little dirty and sweat and mess up and yeah, probably get hurt once in awhile. But that’s the only way I’m going to WIN, for me. Girl Child Playing Baseball

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